I looked at our proud tricolor national flag atop the Nathula pass at Sikkim, standing some halfway between the flag and the ground level. The air was chilly. I was panting heavily due to the high altitude and a general lack of such a conscious strenuous activity. The sky was a peaceful blue. ‘Kanchenjunga’ – I fondly recalled my high school geography class. People were milling all around me. Men in army suits and heavy boots, locals in worn out clothes and age old confidence, tourists like me in shining clothes, completely in awe with the snow clad peaks. There was even a small canteen offering coffee, tea and snacks. The atmosphere was celebratory. ‘Travel to heal’ was not how I saw this entire scenario back then. For me it was an escapade from my own grief.
Grief and Pain
For a minute, amidst all these physical inconveniences of wearing heavy clothing and boots and trudging through the snow, I think I forgot the pain. The pain of losing my beloved mother seven months ago.
My mother’s passing was sudden. She had fever for couple of days but other than that no life threatening diseases. No pre existing chronic troubles. She was a very healthy person who exercised and had a good diet. So naturally, I had no one to blame for this sudden calamity and my brain was not ready to accept the million possible explanations being continuously offered by well meaning family and friends. At one point I could not take it anymore. I remember crying non stop for the next few months. The pain engulfed me so completely that I did not for a single moment think I would survive this trauma. The time that I slept intermittently, exhausted after crying for hours together was the only time I truly escaped the pain. The minute I woke up, it all came crashing down on me.
Family Vs The urge to flee
Then suddenly after six months of trying to find reasons for my never ending pain and misery, the barrage of visitors offering their condolences..( In most cases the crying of the visitor was so bad, that I had to reverse the role and console them!) I just wanted to flee somewhere, where people did not know me or my pain. Somewhere far, far away as I could go. I kept wondering if I would ever feel normal again or come back to being who I was before all of this. The depth of grief was unimaginable. Sobs wracked my whole body and I felt drained and overwhelmed at the same time.
I have heard people say that grief hits people differently. We all do not grieve the same way. The fact that I also had a nine month old baby to take care of, added to my pressure. My elder one was a little over five at that time. For sometime, I was torn between the decision to take care of my kids and the decision to take off towards an unknown destination. I wanted to feel something else apart from whatever I was going through at that moment.
Travel to heal
Ultimately my husband could not see me this way anymore. I confided that I wanted to go somewhere far from home and a trip to Sikkim started unfolding. The destination choice was easy to decide. I always thought the North East India had somehow still retained its innocence, beauty and charm unlike most other tourist places. The arrangements were a bit tougher. This was a travel to heal and change something in me. Whenever the motherly guilt of leaving the children behind overpowered me, my partner assured me that I needed this space and time. Some of my family members were confused when I told them that I wanted to travel. But my immediate family was a pillar of support. While all of us were navigating our own personal losses, we also tried to look out for each other.
Five reasons why you should travel to heal
From my own experience, I believe travel is an exploration of what is happening within you and what is happening around you.
Travel helps you bond
When I started travelling, my only aim was to get out of my constant pain. I did not even think or expect any other outcome. As I started meeting other people, it made me realize that deep down people were the same. We all want essentially the same fundamental things – belonging, happiness, understanding, peace, inspiration. I thought other people would never be able to truly understand what I was going through but I realized I could speak easily to strangers. Though I never mentioned the entire story to anyone there, there was some kind of comfort in sitting with a world where everything seemed normal and moving at its own pace. I truly opened my heart for hope on that journey.
I looked around me and realized that I was not alone in this and I could ask for help. So many people have faced similar situations. So many people could actually be able to understand me. The feelings I could not convey to even my father or sister came gushing out mixed with tears while I talked about my mother to my husband or random strangers. These new friends did not pity me entirely the way my close circle did. There was a mix of sympathy, consolation and motivation for the future. I heard similar stories who lost their loved ones and what helped them move on.
Travel creates a genuine connection with people and true bonding within families whether you travel for pleasure or healing. My husband was my biggest source of support at that point. He not only encouraged me to travel to new places but once he knew it helped me calm down, he ensured the trip was doing what it meant to do by giving me the much needed space and time.
Travel is inspirational
I visited many beautiful lansdscapes, monastries and met monks who were glowing from inside(like they were carrying a little bit of sunshine!!) I did not intend it to be a spiritual trip but connecting with my spiritual side helped me a great deal. Every person I met, every experience I had, changed me subtly. The great mountains, the fresh air, very less population, the thrill of being completely unknown to others, gave me the much needed break from my thoughts. I was diverted enough to find some peace. Everything was not as dreary as I thought. The experience gave me a new hope.
Travel helps you sort your mental clutter
When you are caught in a routine, you never really have the time to think about anything other than, work, family, kids, lessons, meals and chores. There is comfort in routine. But when our self care does not keep up with our daily routines, it leads to a lot of mental tiredness, suppressed anger, resentment or loneliness. With time, one thing leads to another and the mental knots get tighter. New thoughts keep occupying our already cluttered minds and it becomes impossible to look at our daily routines with productivity or joy anymore.
Before you hit this stalemate, be aware that you need to take a break. It could be a break from the endless technology you use daily or it could be to get some much needed sleep. Taking a break is most effective when you get out of your own systems in place. A break should revitalize you and that is where ‘travel to heal’ comes in.
Travel is an exposure to the world that is bigger than your own personal world
Travel is the reminder that the real world is way more beautiful, inspiring, diverse and thought-provoking than your own personal world. Suddenly you see many similarities with people and with couple of deep travel experiences you feel at one with the world. It gives you a higher perspective which can be used in all our life situations.
Travel helps relieve stress
Burst your stress with travel. Travel to explore, to enjoy, to be inspired. It gives a new sense of direction each time by giving us very valuable inputs about ourselves in different situations. It seeks clarity on things that otherwise might continue to be unresolved. So travel to understand yourself better and let go of unnecessary things taking up your valuable time and mental space. Travel to heal!
