Usually on Diwali we go to our hometown to celebrate the occasion with our extended family. But this time we couldn’t go. Chennai is a beautiful city and we do have a great social circle here. But being away from family for important festivals just did not feel right. Predictably I was not exceptionally thrilled to stay back. Sensing this, my father and sister joined us in celebrating Diwali here. From there the excitement built naturally! We planned shopping trips, bought sweets, beautifully designed lamps and crackers. We made plans to visit some of our family friends who lived close by because we frankly did not know how to spend the Diwali day without relatives at home. Hailing from large families, Diwali was all about celebrating and feasting together with relations. But Diwali this year, taught me how investing in meaningful social connections can really boost happiness levels.
Surprise visits
We meet people randomly all the time – at work, at PTMs, at parks, at grocery stores, gyms etc. I have come across some really wonderful people who are kind and exceptional at such meetings. Thy reach out to me even when they are busy. We make plans but sometimes are too busy to keep up the plans (but we keep on dreaming!). Even a simple task like visiting each other’s homes has become very less now. So we used this Diwali as an opportunity to visit some of our close friends. For the most part in my life, I have always played the host rather than being a guest. So it was a refreshing change. After completing our morning puja and yummy breakfast, we donned our new dresses and stepped out of the house.
The school mom
First we dropped by my son’s friend C’s house. After regularly interacting for school related activities over a period of time, our families became really comfortable with each other. C’s family was warm and welcoming. After chatting for sometime, the friend’s mother casually asked if we all can plan for a short trip to some place nearby. We immediately said yes! After making few more exciting plans for the future (not sure how many we would keep up), we parted ways with big smiles.
The gym colleague
The next stop was a family whom we met through similar gym routines. This was a son who lived with his aged parents. The minute we went though the door, the grandfather and grandmother hugged our children and were really excited to see them. We had gained another set of grandparents! We knew the son and his mother well earlier. But the father was equally warm. They kept saying how boring it was to be alone after their son left for office. They even requested us to send the children around sometimes, to keep them company.
I realized this busy city life might actually be very lonely for our elders.
We have things to do, people to meet and places to go. But they have nothing to look forward to everyday. I made a mental note to visit them more often.
Our old apartment
The next place was our old apartment which was close by. We had been there for ten years and though many have shifted, we still have some amazing friends and neighbors there. These were the meaningful social connections our children knew growing up. So they were special.
By this time we started receiving guests at home and I could not continue my surprise visits. My college friends dropped by with their families. Our little ones are friends now. This second generation friendship is cute to watch. So from discussing college courses, jobs, bosses, marriage, we have graduated to discussing kids and their future. I really hope they all stay friends for long. We have truly been blessed with many meaningful social connections and I’m grateful to the universe for bringing them all to us.
Why are meaningful social connections important?
Keeping us grounded
Good social connections keep us humble and help us realize what is important in life. They alert us when we spend excessive time chasing things that really don’t matter in the longer run. They stage interventions and ask uncomfortably honest questions about us and our choices. But this all comes from a place of love and care.
Health and happiness
All blue zones in the world (where the centenarian population is concentrated) have strong evidence linking longevity and happiness to meaningful social connections.
When people have a sense on belonging, they tend to help each other out. They are better able to cope with life’s adversities.
Support in times of distress
Difficult times could entail
- Illness
- Divorce/Death of a loved one
- Financial crisis
- Emotional crisis
At those times, we need people to help us and support us. Such kind of help does not come easily in reality. Nurturing meaningful social connections long term is key to giving and receiving help naturally.
Huge inspiration
When we have meaningful social connections elder to us, we stand to gain a lot form their experience and expertise. They guide us when needed. When they genuinely feel happy for our achievements we are motivated to still reach greater heights. They are a source of in-depth knowledge, ideas and wisdom.
Meaningful social connections contribute to a fulfilling life
Whether we like it or not, for some weird reason, it seems easier to find ourselves in company we really don’t appreciate. No one can be happy with for angry, bitter or jealous people who are extremely self centered. We have to build connections with people who are real, generous, kind, grateful and wise. Eventually you will pick up the traits of the people you often hang out with. And these are the traits that will lead to a journey of fulfillment in your own life.
Conclusion
Across all ages exist wonderful people with positive energy and a great enthusiasm for life.
Make sure you build meaningful social connections encompassing such people. They bring a much needed balance and insight into our hectic lives. Studies have shown such connections contribute directly to our quality of life and our longevity. So spend some time investing in meaningful relationships. They will function as your guiding compass and your safety net always.
