How to Keep Kids Away From Phones – Easy Tips

As much as I would like to see my children being updated with the times they grow up in, the possibility of health concerns and over usage of phones are a constant worry to me. Mostly I try to keep my kids away from phones. My children normally do not come near my phone as I have always discouraged them from using the phone as a play thing. There are occasional requests for seeing a video or playing candy crush which I entertain. Other than that there were really no serious concerns….until they discovered my husband’s smart phone!

What followed was their daily schedule of playing games or watching cartoons. My husband, half the time did not even know they were using his phone (How did they get the password?!!!) because he was busy with his work on the computer. Only when he needed to make a call or verify data would he realize that his phone was missing and the children have been quiet for way too long!

Unwanted Behaviors

When I came looking for them, they quickly hid the phone and pretended not to know where it was. It was mostly fear, that I would catch them red-handed. With time I noticed them sticking with their father way more than usual constantly badgering him to lend them his phone while he was not using it. Try as I might, they found innovative ways to sneak around with the phone.

One day I casually asked my elder one, how did he manage to know the password to dad’s phone when he did not know mine at all. All he gave me in response was a smirk. Later I found out that my husband had just casually typed the password near him and my kid being smart, took note.

Children watch us all the time. Seemingly insignificant actions like these lead to bigger issues.

How I kept my kids away from phones

• So I decided to go with another strategy and surprisingly it worked.
• I played cool when they wanted the phone.(It was still dad’s phone. They would not dream of coming near mine!)
• Set all the essential protections online.
• Sat with them and watched what they wanted without disturbing them. This way I got to know what they were upto.
• I made them ask me permission before getting to the phone ( Can I see Peppa Pig ma?)
• Finally I set time limits. (Max 15 mins if they were really good.Yes, they had to earn that privilege).

Unity of Command

If they did not stick to the agreed time, I refused to give them the phone the next time. No amount of crying or throwing a tantrum could budge me. Of course they went running to their father for his intervention. But raising kids, me and my husband realized was a team effort. ‘Unity of command’ was crucial motto of our team.

In this post, I’m going to share a few rock-solid tips that worked for me and helped keep kids away from phones.

Think of these questions

Does your kid,

• Love to play games on the mobile?
• Know more apps in the app store than you?
• Often prefer the phone to TV or an actual game?
• Can’t stay away from mobile phones?

If the answer is ‘YES’, then it is high time you take the issue into your own hands (literally!) and keep kids away from phones. This seemingly common problem has impacted parents all over the world.

The World Health Organisation has defined limits for exposure to screen time according to the child’s age.

Why can’t we take kids away from phones?

Children are naturally curious about themselves and their surroundings. Their attraction towards a phone starts in the same way as any other new toy. Only this toy gives endless experiences both positive and negative. When children play a favorite game on a mobile phone, they experience the secretion of a hormone called ‘Dopamine’. Numerous research works have been conducted on the effect of dopamine. This is the hormone which does not keep kids away from phones.

Dopamine

This is the same dopamine that gives us a rush after a good exercise. Also known as the ‘pleasure hormone‘ or the ‘feel-good hormone‘, this dopamine is now responsible for attracting kids to phones because every notification sends them a thrill of a new experience. What begins as a simple joy , over the repeated usage creates a strong dependency on the mobile for the child.

Long Term Effects

• Headache/Nausea
• Poor Vision
• Poor posture
• Restlessness and a general lack of interest in other things
• Eating disorders and serious diseases

In the long term, when the child does not stay away from mobile phones, the dependency translates into behavioral problems.

Is The Issue Serious?

If parents observe their child closely, they should be able to answer the following questions to know if the issue is serious or not.

Does your child,

• Get enough sleep and exercise?
• Do all the alloted work for the day?
• Engage in playing outdoors alone or with friends?
• Display good behavior in general?
• Listen and talk to you properly?
• Perform at school satisfactorily?

Tantrums are part of childhood, but small tantrums do not impact moods in a big way. The child would naturally pacify herself and get back to normal within a span of minutes.

Children are wired to be easily distracted. It is impossible to hold their attention to a single thing for a prolonged period of time. That is exactly what the mobile does.

Mood Swings and Depression

Children watching online videos and playing games for a long duration display a restlessness when they stay away from the mobile phone. Mood swings and depression set in. Kids at this stage find it hard to open up because they are not accustomed to real conversations or real friends. All the connections they have made are online.

Adolescents take up a longer time to grow mentally and assume responsibilities that come with adulthood. Kids show anxiety and withdrawal symptoms when they are forcibly made to forget their phones.

What can parents do?

Parents should stop giving phones to children as an emotional buffer. Phones should be seen as a privilege and not a necessity. Eight out of ten times, phones are used only for entertainment. Movies, Music, Games, Social media and every other form of entertainment is readily available to all. The first access to an online world for a child is definitely through a parent’s phone. From there the progression of mobile dependency is neither uniform nor rational.

So here are a few steps to easily keep children away from phones.

Practical Solutions to Keep Kids Away from Mobile Phones

1. Set an Example

Parents must first learn to follow digital detox once in a while and put away their phones when their children are around. Unless it is important, put it away. Spend time with kids showing them being offline can be fun too.

2. Keep Them Engaged

Real conversation is an art form that cannot be taught online. Talking to your kids will reveal a lot of the thoughts that they process in their little minds. Take up a sport or play spontaneous games like antakshari(singing) word building or even board games. Teach them to that the world is much bigger than a small box of technology.

3. Set a time limit

This actually works wonders when followed strictly. Instead of forbidding phones, set a time limit for handling phones. By doing this, children are mentally prepared to give up the phone when the time is up. Though they resist, they know they can delay by a few minutes but cannot get away with longer phone hours.

4. Supervise

Fairly simple. Know what your child is upto all the time when they are using the phone. You can ask them directly or sit with them when they are online or playing.

5. Talk to your kids

Encourage your kid to be honest with you. This takes tons of patience and trust building exercises. Most parents feel that their kids do not talk to them enough. Stop expecting honest answers from your kids all the time. Kids have a way for randomly giving honest insights through out the day. Capitalise on that. Give kids more of your time and space. Work together in the kitchen or garden. In an informal setting, kids are more relaxed and ready to talk.

6. Do not use phone as an emotional pacifier

In many houses, I have seen that parents willingly let their kids have their phones to make them stop crying or if they are fussy about eating. They need to understand that emotions are a huge part of being real. Kids need to learn about handling their emotions even from a young age. The phones are a barricade to this process. So do not use them as an emotional pacifier. there are many other easy and effective ways to pacify them.

All these solutions are easy and practical. With a little effort, you can make kids appreciate the technology but not get completely consumed by it.

Do you follow any other tips that has effectively worked for you? Feel free to share in the comments!